Related Articles

14 users responded in this post

Subscribe to this post comment rss or trackback url
User Gravatar
Jim Bronyaur said in August 20th, 2010 at 10:03 am

Wow… this is just fantastic. I loved the intro – I normally don’t like those kind of intro’s, but in this one, it worked. And the entire story almost had a non-fiction feel to it. Which worked for me because it kept the flow going.

The concept was amazing and you pulled it off. My favorite #ff so far for today!

Jim Bronyaur
(http://twitter.com/jimbronyaur – follow me!)
http://tinyurl.com/336mgf5 <– my #fridayflash if you care to read!

User Gravatar
Marisa Birns said in August 20th, 2010 at 10:06 am

She has a gift and a curse! The best thing for her would be to purify the rooms with the smoke from sage leaves. :)

Very good story; so glad she will not be the next victim on maintenance man’s list.

User Gravatar
mazzz in Leeds said in August 20th, 2010 at 10:15 am

A gift and a curse indeed! Nice and creepy this was. Liked the sanitarium/hotel mention – that would certainly have a strange mix of memories.
Next week you should take us into the basement!

User Gravatar
Valerie said in August 20th, 2010 at 10:17 am

Creepy! I think you might be able to prune down a lot of the descriptions in the beginning to make this a tighter piece. We get the idea pretty quickly so some things end up being repetitive. I’d actually like to hear more about the mysterious bad apartment, maybe have her try to find it instead of waiting for the maintenance guy to show up. Fun stuff, good idea!

User Gravatar

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jim Bronyaur, Vanessa Leavitt. Vanessa Leavitt said: #fridayflash – If These Walls Could Talk – http://vrleavitt.com/?p=301 Enjoy!! [...]

User Gravatar
vrleavitt said in August 20th, 2010 at 11:14 am

Marisa…smudging would be a good idea, yes? :-)

Mazzz…Oohhh, good idea!! I’ll have to investigate that!

Valerie…Thanks for your suggestions, I totally agree. I have some other ideas for when I go back an edit and really like the ones you’ve laid out. Thanks very much!!

Thanks everybody for your encouragement and for stopping by. It’s very much appreciated!

User Gravatar
Louise Dragon said in August 20th, 2010 at 11:23 am

Cool! Reminds me of the boy child haunting the set of “Three Men and a Baby!”

User Gravatar
marc nash said in August 20th, 2010 at 11:26 am

ooh, similar theme of the fabric of buildings holding human energies in mine this week… Must be zeitgeist, or something in the water at least!

Couple of typos – ‘in anyway’ should be 2 words, & the ‘new location was located’… Hope you don’t mind me pointing them out.

User Gravatar
J. Dane Tyler said in August 20th, 2010 at 11:34 am

Nice job of painting the brain-frying confusion which must come from hearing so much feedback all the time! Well done, VR! I enjoyed this one a great deal. :)

User Gravatar
vrleavitt said in August 20th, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Louise…I didn’t know about that! Too cool.

Marc…Not at all! I definitely appreciate any criticism at all. After all, it’s how we grow. Thanks for stopping by.

J…Thanks! :-)

User Gravatar
study abroad scholarships said in August 20th, 2010 at 9:11 pm

Keep up the good work, I like your writing.

User Gravatar
G.P. Ching said in August 21st, 2010 at 9:44 pm

Hmmm…a story about moving. Where do you get your inspiration? ha ha. This was a creepy little story. Blessing and a curse definitely. Loved the concept.

User Gravatar
Cheryl Malandrinos said in August 23rd, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Awesome and creepy all at the same time. Wow! Keep up the great work.

Cheryl

User Gravatar
Rebecca said in August 25th, 2010 at 8:54 am

Oh, that was so clever! I really enjoyed it.
Well done.

Leave A Reply

 Username (Required)

 Email Address (Remains Private)

 Website (Optional)